Saviour!
by blackwater-forever
Summary: STORY HAS BEEN ADOPTED. GO TO "LeahClearwater1997" :
1. I am not okay

*****Heey all, this is my first story so please please let me know if you like it by reviewing, if so i will continue to write and upload, all belongs to steph meyer, you know how it goes lol*****

_**Leah's POV:**_

No, no, no. I can't believe I just did that. Well it was the truth but still, oh that's the door… I hope it's dad, I should apologise…

_**Jacob's POV:**_

Shit, Shit, Shit! How am I going to tell Leah, this will kill her. She was coping, she said she was fine and now…  
"Jacob, I am going over to Sue's now… would you like to come with me, or should I tell Leah?"  
My dad was trying so hard to hold it together, Harry was his best friend… and now, he's just gone!

"Thanks dad, but I think Leah should hear it from me"

How on earth would I tell her.

_**Leah's POV:**_

"Leah… Jacob is here to see you!"

My mum was used to Jake coming over frequently, he and I had started to get close, it was good having a mate like him.

"Be down in a sec"  
I quickly gave one last look in the mirror, then turned to my door-

"Oh hey Jake, I was just coming down to-"

I heard a loud cry coming from downstairs, what was that, was that my mum, why was she crying?  
"Lee, I need to talk to you"  
The way Jake said that, it scared me, and the way he was looking at me, what was going on?  
"Jake, what? Don't look at me like that, why the hell is my mum crying, and damn it Jake! Stop looking at me like that!"  
"Lee, you're, you're-"

"Damn it Jacob Black just spit it out!"

"Leah, I'm so so sorry, you're dad he, well he had a heart attack while he was out with Billy, and the doctors they came to late, and well, Lee, I'm so sorry"

What, what did he just say, no it's not true, I won't believe it, he's lying, it's some sick joke, I won't believe it, I can't! I slowly backed away from Jake and ran out my bedroom door, I don't know where I was going, and all I could do was run. As soon as I got out of my house I phased. There better hell not be another god dammed wolf listening to my thoughts. What the hell, why was this happening, he was fine, I saw him this morning and now he just… he… no I won't say it, if I say it then it's just like confirming it's true, it's not true!  
I was running for hours by now, just then I felt that Jake had phased, he was looking for me.

_Lee?  
_No, no, he can't find me.

_Lee, please everyone is worried about you, I'm coming ok-  
_  
It took him less than 5 minutes to find me, by then I had phased back, Jake was still in his wolf form, and he was holding in his mouth a shirt and shorts, and dumped them in front of me. He went into the bushes, I'm guessing so he could let me change, and for him to change himself. Within a minute he came back out wearing his cut off shorts, lucky for him I had changed. He was slowly walking towards me-

"Lee, are you okay?" He crouched down next to me.

I started getting really angry,

"Why the fuck would I be okay Jake, seriously, are you fucking kidding me, I just found out my dad is DEAD, he's dead, and you're asking me if I'm ok" I started shaking uncontrollably.  
"Lee, you need to calm down, please just calm down, it's ok, you're okay" He started rubbing my back for me, I admit it did help. We sat there in silence for a while.

"Leah, we should be getting back to you're house now, you're mum and Seth are really worried" All I could do was nod. Why hadn't I cried yet, what was wrong with me, do I have no emotion or something? How could I not cry over my dead dad!

Jake and I silently walked back to mine. As soon as I got through the door, it was hell, my mum was sitting on the couch crying, and screaming, and Seth – oh poor Seth, he's only 14. He's trying to comfort mum, but I know he's dying inside, and me, I'm so selfish all I could think about my self, like I always do, it should've been me not dad.

I just walked upstairs. Jake followed after me.

"Leah, do you want me to stay the night?" I didn't want him here.

"No, no it's okay, I'm okay!" Jacob seemed unsure, but he let me be. For the first time in a very long time, I cried, I couldn't stop so I myself to sleep.

***** so thats chapter 1 for now, chapter 2 is upload so if you guys liked it then please review or let me know on any ideas or a good way you think this story could go, I'm interested to see where it goes to, so please review! thaankss! :) *****


	2. Brave face?

*****Hey again, this is chapter 2, enjoy! Please review if you want me to upload the next chapter, I've written most of it but I'll upload only if people want it, again all belongs to steph meyer*****

I woke up that next morning with the stained dry tears on my cheeks from last night. Everyone was going through a hard time right now, and I can't help but think the reason behind my dad's death was my fault. I was already selfish enough yesterday to run away like that, but from now on I'm going to be helpful, I'll think about Seth and Mum, I'll put on a brave face and smile, even though this is killing me inside.

Everyone was still sleeping, so I head downstairs and the least I can do for mum is to make some breakfast, I got out some eggs and started making an omelette when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn't up to seeing anyone so I tried to ignore it but whoever it was sure was persistent. I open the door and see him standing there.  
"Oh, hey Jacob" I smiled, I'm still going to try my whole brave act, I can not be weak.

"Hey Leah, how you doing?" The way he was speaking to me, he was acting very cautious, like if he says something I could break down – not going to happen! Not in front of him!  
"Yeah, I'm actually a lot better, thanks, why'd you come by?" Crap, Crap, I could totally see he was not buying it, oh well, I'm not doing this for him, so why should I care.

"Oh just thought I'd come and see how you're going, I mean you must be going through a pretty hard time right now, I guess I'm just trying to say is that I'm hear for you" Okay, he defiantly didn't buy it.  
"Well, like I said before, I'm better, I'm dealing with it, I'm fine!" This seemed to have kept him quiet for a minute, enough time for me to politely kick his ass out of here.  
"Anyways, I've got omelette cooking so if you'll excuse me"  
"Leah-"I closed the door before he could say anything else. I couldn't do it, I couldn't talk to anyone, I'm Leah fucking Clearwater, I don't talk about my feelings. Oh crap- the omelette it was probably burning. I run over to the stove, yep I ruined it, I killed it, I killed the omelette, just like I killed my dad. Oh crap I was not dealing with this, damn it Leah what's wrong with you! I ran down to the beach, I always felt calm there, the wind on my skin. But this beach, where I was standing, it brought back to many memories, the day dad died…

_"Leah, I will not repeat myself, you WILL go to college and get a degree, I will not have you sit around all day doing nothing with your life, now I understand thing's have been hard lately with Sam and Emily but-"_

_How dare he bring that up! How did he know how I was feeling, he didn't!_

"_Dad, just SHUT UP! Shut up! Okay, you don't know anything, fine you want me to go to college, I will, I'll move to another State, so I can get as far away from you, from EVERYONE, I hate it here! I know I was going overboard, but everyone kept telling me to get over it, then I will!  
"Leah, Honey-" I cut him off, I'm to angry to hear his apologise._

"_No dad, no, you keep telling me to get over him, fine I'll go to Miami or something and go get laid, get pregnant, that will surely get me to get over him right?" He had no answer, just sympathy in his eyes, I couldn't take it. I walked away._

"_Lee, come back" He started following after me._

"_No dad, just go on you're stupid fishing trip, this is the last time you'll see me, I'm leaving today!" That definitely stopped him, I took the chance to run back home before he could stop me!_

That was it, all the memories from that day, which was only yesterday just crashed on me. I couldn't handle it, it was my fault, everything happened and it was just all my fault. I suddenly burst into tears, I couldn't, I just…  
"Leah…?" Oh crap, crap, crap, of all people _he _comes! I abruptly wipe away all my tears, although I'm sure he heard me. I turn around, with attudude,

"What do you want Sam?" He looked shocked, I think he was expecting me to be a bit softer, considering he just saw me crying like a baby.

"Are you okay Lee-Lee?" _'Lee-Lee'? _If I wasn't angry before, I sure as hell was now!

"Did you just call me Lee-Lee, are you serious? You seriously called me Lee-Lee, Sam, you completely lost the right to call me that when-" I couldn't say it, I had never said those words aloud yet, that he left me. I just couldn't.

"Whatever, Sam, I'm going, tell anyone what you saw, and you're dead!" Then, I ran off!

*****poor leahh ay lol, im interested to see where this goes, so if you want to read more, then review please! thank u *****


	3. Funeral

**Jacob POV:**

I was in the garage working on my car; I had recently come back from Leah's. The poor thing, she's trying to be brave, but seriously who is she trying to fool? It's so typical of her to just try and ignore what is really happening, she did it with Sam, and now she's doing it with her Dad. Just that second I heard Sam coming towards the garage.

"Hey Jake…" he needed to tell me something, I could tell.

"Hey man, how you going?" I stood up to talk face-to-face to him.  
"Um yeah alright, how's your dad going, he was pretty close to Harry" That was an understatement; Dad, Billy and Charlie were like best friends, even at the age that they were.

"Well, you know he's trying to cope, it's hard on everyone all round" I said, instantly thinking about Leah.

"You could say that" Huh?  
"Sorry what?" Was he trying to tell me something?  
"Look, I think I should tell you this because you've gotten closer to Leah lately, and considering you're alpha should know, but you didn't hear it from me…" This began to worry me, was Leah okay? I literally just had seen her.

"I saw her crying on the beach, and she just kept saying 'I'm sorry' over and over again. She didn't want to talk to me, then she just blew it of like it was nothing, I'm worried about her." I knew she wasn't fine, seriously who was she trying to kid.

"Yeah me too, thanks Sam I'll try talk to her"

I was pacing back and fourth, trying to figure out if I should visit Leah. She wasn't fine and she certainly had no intent on letting anyone know that. Didn't she know she had to be brave all the time? That it's okay to be sad sometimes. I think I'll go visit her.

**Leah POV:**

Damn it, I didn't mean to cry, I don't know what took over me, I… I just don't cry, but I did, and Sam saw me. Now he'll think I'm just some big weak baby, great. At least I got the house to myself, Mum and Seth went to arrange funeral plans. Oh great, they are home early, and they forgot the keys, I go to open the door. Are you serious? He is here. Again.

"What Jacob?" I was really not in the mood to see him, especially because he is my alpha and who knows what he could get me to tell him.

"No hello?" He must've seen in my eyes that I was in no mood for playing games. "Ok, ok, sorry, I was just…"  
"Checking up on me?" He was to easy to read. He sighed, "Look, Sam came to speak to me-" He what!

"That son of a bitch!" Who does Sam think he is going around telling people, telling Jacob, crap Leah don't get angry, don't phase, don't phase, you can't phase.

"Leah calm down, he was just worried about you, so am I, why did you keep saying I'm sorry?" Huh, oh god, damn it, why did I say that!

"I don't think I was Jacob" crap, crap, crap

"Leah, why were you sorry?" Why does he have to be so damn persistent!

"Can we just drop it please!" He was still looking at me… Oh God, no he can't!

"No Jake, please please don't make me tell you!" He actually looked appalled.

"Leah, I would never do that, just because I'm alpha doesn't mean I'll take advantage of it, but why are you so scared, what don't you want to tell me?"

Okay now I definitely have to get rid of him,

"Sorry Jake, I've uh, got a few things I have to do, so I gotta go" And once again I shut the door on him. 

**Jacob POV:**

It was the day of the funeral. Dad and I were both wearing our suits. We all went together as a pack. At the Church I saw her, she was greeting everyone, not even crying. Why was she doing this, she and I both knew how much it was killing her inside, I had been a couple of days since I had seen her, and almost a week since she had found out the news. She hadn't even phased since the first day she found out. Seth had phased, it was his way of dealing with it all, he's a good kid. But Leah, I wanted to know what was going through her mind. I walked up to her.

"Hey Lee, my condolences to Harry, he was a good guy" Just then, just in that second I saw it in her eyes, the desperation of her dad, her sadness, I saw guilt? She quickly recovered.

"Hey Black, yeah thanks, he was" We then took our seats for the ceremony to start. Sue and Seth Clearwater were crying, not Leah, she was comforting them, _I _could comfort her! She just wouldn't let me. After the ceremony we proceeded to La Push Beach, to scatter his ashes. Once that was done a few words were said by Charlie and Dad, then everyone went back to the Clearwater's house, but not Leah.

**Leah's POV:**

They just scattered Dad's ashes into the beach. Now I know for sure I will _never _see him again. I heard footsteps from behind.

"Hey again Lee" I turn to see Jacob, damn it can't he ever leave me alone.

"Following me or something Black?" he actually looked hurt by my words.

"Leah, I'm just here for you, to see of you're o-" I didn't let him finish, this annoyed me to much.

"Jacob, you've asked me time and time again if I'm okay, and I've told you time and time again that I am! Want to know the truth, the real god damned truth, no I'm not okay, I'm far from it. Not because I lost my dad, but because it was my fault he fucking died, and now that's on me, so no Jacob I'm not okay, but I will put on a brave face and continue letting people believe that I am okay" I began shaking by how angry I am, crap Leah, don't phase, don't phase, just stay calm, do not phase.

"Why don't you want to phase?" crap, I must've said that out loud.

"Just leave me alone Jacob, look I got to get back to the house and help mum out, everyone is there" He began to walk with me,

"I'll walk you home then" I didn't bother arguing with him this time.


	4. Not hungry

**_***heyy again, this is the 4th chapter, pleasseee review, cos i wont upload unless people actually like what I'm writing, so let me know if you do and I'll update another chapter soon! :) and all rights go to stephenie meyer. i do not own her characters or her story, enjoy!***_******

Leah POV:

So, Jacob and I had just gotten to my house. Everyone was here. People that were close to dad, even people who didn't know him, just here out of respect I guess. Jacob walked in first and I followed, oh boy, there sure was a lot of people here. I really was not in the mood to talk to all these people about how such a great man dad was and how lucky we were that he was in our lives. I lean towards Jake and say-

"I'm gonna go in my room, too many people down here" I walk up to my room and try to avoid eye contact, especially with the people crying, i couldn't bear to think their tears are my fault. When I got in my room, I just sat there, I was sitting there for a while when I heard a knock on my door,

"Come in" I didn't bother getting up, my door was already unlocked.

It was Seth, I realised I hadn't really spoken to him since dad died.

"Hey Leah, not going downstairs?" he came to join me on my bed.

"Nah, there's too many people down there, just peaceful up here, know what I mean?"

"Yeah, that's why I came to join you, and, to bring you a plate of food" I didn't even notice he had a plate of food when he came in. Truthfully I hadn't eaten in two days, I wasn't hungry I guess, and the guilt from dad, I just, I can't bear to eat, my stomach wanted food, but I couldn't bring myself to eat.

"Oh thanks, I'm uh, not really hungry, I ate before" I hope he believed that.

"Okay, I'll just leave it here in case you get hungry" No, I didn't want that, in case I did get hungry and eat it, I didn't want to eat.

"No, no it's okay, I'll probably go for a sleep, I'm really tired, just take it downstairs, it will go rotten up here" I tried to throw him as many excuses as possible, but I was actually tired, so once he left, I got under my blankets and slept a dreamless sleep.

**Seth POV:**

As I walked downstairs, holding Leah's plate of food, which she didn't eat, I was getting really worried about her, I know that definitely she hadn't eaten today, even though she told me she did, and I'm pretty sure she didn't eat yesterday either. She was really worrying me.

"Hey mate, you okay, you look a bit stressed out" Jacob approached me in the kitchen.

"Oh hey, yeah I guess I am, I'm worried about Leah" Maybe Jake could help her.

"Yeah, same, but why is she worrying you?" I guess we had different reasons to be worried.

"I don't think she has eaten in two days, maybe even more, she might be starving herself" That was it, it clicked to me, I had an idea,

"Jake, because you are her alpha can you please please command her to eat. I know you normally don't like to do stuff like that, but you've got to, she needs to eat" it was the only solution I could think of. I could see that he didn't like that idea.

"Seth, I really don't feel comfortable doing that, but how about this, I'll take her to breakfast tomorrow, and I'll try get her to eat something, but if worse comes to worse, I might have to" This was a huge weight lifted from my shoulders, at least my sister's health would be okay.

**Leah's POV:**

Wow, I had slept a lot, since yesterday afternoon! It was now currently 8:00 in the morning. Everything was the same, well everything except dad wasn't here. I really had to get over this, just occupy myself with something else, that's when I heard footsteps coming to my door, and Seth walked in.

"Hey bro, what's up?" He just lingered in the doorway.

"Hey, nothing, Jake is here to see you" What did Jake always want, I told him how I felt yesterday, he was really starting to annoy me. Then he appeared in the doorway next to Seth.

"Well I'm going" Seth said while leaving.

"Jeez, Black, can't spend a day without me can't you" I know I was being a bitch, but that's how I am.

"Actually, I wanted to go out to breakfast with you, I'm starving" Okay, this was weird…

"Thanks, but uh, I'm not hungry Jake" He just smiled.

"That's fine, I'm starving and I want company" I knew I was going to lose this fight, so I just agreed.

We ended up going to a small diner up in the town. I was pretty hungry, but I just couldn't bring myself to eat, Jacob, not listening to me, ordered two meals. As the waitress brought the food over, I told Jacob again,

"You know that was a waste of money, I told you I'm not hungry, so you're gonna pay for it" I said with a grin. He suddenly turned serious, uh-oh.

"Leah, when was the last time you ate?" I shrugged,

"I don't know, like last night" I lied, and damn it he knew.

"Liar, I spoke to Seth, he said you haven't eaten in almost three days." Crap, busted.

"Well, I'm obviously not hungry, it doesn't matter" I said, I was about to get up, then Jacob said, "Stay" Damn it he used his alpha voice.

"Jacob, why would you do that, you said you would never do it when you are alpha" I felt betrayed.

"I just want to talk to you, and every time I try to, you shut me out" Okay, now he was really starting to bug me. I sat there in silence, if he's making me stay; I'm going to be bad company. He continued being serious.

"Look Leah, please just eat, you need to, you're body needs food." I don't care if my body needs food!

"No" was simply all I said.

He sighed, "Leah, please don't make me make you eat" What! He wouldn't.

"Jake if you do that, you know I won't talk to you again!" I actually am starting to believe he may do just that.

"I know, and I don't want to, so please just eat." He looked desperate.

"No, Jacob!" I would not do this just because he wanted me to.

"Leah, I'm sorry" He then used his alpha voice, "Leah Clearwater, you will eat this meal" Are you fucking kidding me!

"I hate you Jacob Black!" I said, as I put a mouth full of food in my mouth.

"I know, I'm sorry" Yeah, right, like he was sorry.

I ended up eating my whole meal, making it very clear to Jacob how much I hated him the whole time; he just kept quiet the whole time. The bill came, and I instantly said.

"I'm not paying for that!" He just sighed, again.

"I know, I took you out remember"

"Yeah, against my will" I retorted

"Actually I recall you coming here freely, I just had to make you eat" He was right,

"Whatever" I stormed of and waited in the car.

Jake came out shortly after and drove me home; we were silent the whole time. He walked me to my door, and asked if I wanted him to come in. Did he forget how much I hated him. "Fuck you Jacob!" I said, then slammed the door again in his face.

_*****lol sorry, i know its verry over the top and all, but yeah, im not so sure where this will lead, so if anyone has any ideas, review me and let me know, thank you!*****_


	5. Cry for help

_*****heeeey guys! This is now the 5th chapter, i hope you enjoy it! all rights go to SM!*****_

**Leab POV:**

Okay, so maybe I was a little to harsh on Jake, but seriously he _commanded _me to eat. My dad just died, and he's being a little bitch about it. It's only been a couple of days, I think I'm allowed to be depressed for a little bit, and if that means not eating then let me be. I shouldn't of eaten, I don't deserve to, not after what I did. I feel so guilty, I _should _feel guilty. That was when a wave of emotions hit me, I don't really know what came over me, but I ran upstairs to the bathroom, luckily no one was home. I bent over the toilet bowl, and just began purging up what I ate that day. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do, this isn't me, I'm not vulnerable, I don't do this type of stuff. I always read articles about girls who do this and think of how pathetic their lives must have been to lead to this. And now, that girl is me, I'm pathetic. I just don't know who I am, I'm so scared, so that's when I got out my phone, and rang the one person I could call.

**Jacob POV:**

Crap, maybe I shouldn't have _forced _Leah to eat. It wasn't my place, but Seth needed me to do this and so did Leah, she may not know it yet, but she needed my help. I just really hope she can forgive me. My phone started vibrating, this is weird, why is Leah calling me? Didn't she just slam a door in my face? I quickly answered, she was _crying_. I couldn't make out much of what she was saying other than she needed me to come over. I told her I'd be there right away so I got in my car and drove straight to her house. Lucky I knew where she kept her spare key, so I let myself in and ran straight up to her bedroom, though she wasn't there, and then I heard sobs coming from the bathroom. I follow the cries and see Leah crumpled on the floor in a fetal position. That's when I smelt it, I smelt the vomit. Oh no, this was my fault, why did I force her to eat, she obviously wasn't ready. She looked up to me with big teary eyes, and said,

"Jacob, I am so sorry" I instantly knelt down next to her and pulled her onto my lap. I wrapped a protective arm around her,

"Shh, Leah, it's okay, I'm here now" She buried her face into my chest. This was my entire fault.

**Leah POV:**

I'm such a baby. I can't believe I called Jacob, now he won't let me forget about this, but I had no one else to turn to. It took me a while to calm down, when I did, I walked over to my room and Jacob followed. I started pacing back and fourth when finally Jacob stopped me.

"Leah, I think we should talk about this" He said calmly. No, no I didn't want to talk about this, it's to embarrassing. So, I tried to let him believe I was fine.

"Jacob, we don't need to talk about this, I'm sorry I called you, I don't know what I was thinking, it was stupid, but I'm fine now" He didn't believe me, he just sighed and sat on my bed,

"Leah, sit down" I sat next to him, afraid of what he was going to say next.

"Leah, you are not fine, you're father just died," I flinched at that, "and then I had to _force _you to eat, because you weren't eating, and then because you didn't want to eat that much, you throw it up, you are not fine" He was right I was so screwed up. I just sat there in silence. "Leah please look at me" He turned my face, and looked me in the eyes.

"I think we should tell your mum" crap, no!

"No, Jacob please, this will just worry her, she's dealing with to much, I swear it was just a once of, I'll never do it again!" I looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Okay, okay, I won't tell her, but I need you to tell me why you did it, so I can help you" This was the part I was avoiding; I did not want to have this conversation with Jacob. "I don't know it was just nothing" I didn't make eye contact, just kept playing with my nails. He sighed, again,

"Leah, it was nothing, please tell me, I want to help you!" this time I sighed, because I knew I was going to end up telling him,

"Jacob, please don't hate me," I began nervously, he cut me off right there,

"Leah whatever you say could never make me hate you" That comforted me a little bit.

"Okay, so the day dad died, I … I saw him earlier at the beach, and he and I were arguing, about Sam… and Emily" He cut me off again, "Leah, I really don't see the problem here" Why did he never let me finish,

"Jake, please, I'm not finished, so we were arguing and we got in a really big fight, and it ended with me telling him I'm leaving and he will never see me again" I bowed my head in shame, "and then coincidently he has a heart attach later that day, and it's all my fault, I … I killed my dad" I began to cry.

"Leah, listen to me, you were NOT to blame for you dad's death, he already had a bad heart, it had nothing to do with you, please don't blame yourself, if your father were here right now what would he say about you blaming yourself?" When I didn't answer, he answered for me.

"He'd tell you it was the stupidest thing he ever heard" Jacob was right, but I can't fight this guilt, it's killing me.

"Thanks Jake, you really helped me, but can we please never mention this again to anyone in the pack, not even my mum, especially my mum" I really didn't want anyone finding out.

"Okay, I promise Leah" That was a huge relief.

"Thanks again Jake" I said.

Jake had to leave soon after, and once again I was alone, for some reason I still felt guilty, even though everything Jake said was right, I still felt guilty, I felt alone, I didn't feel okay. It took so much strength to not go back into that bathroom and puke up my guts again.

_*****so i know that chapter was still OTT lol, but yeaah, i hope you guys liked it! Please please review, i really want to know what you guys think!*****_


	6. Cutting deep

**_***Hey again! I'm back with another chapter! I hope you like it, i didnt really know where to take this so i hope you like it, all rights go to SM***_**

Leah POV:

I couldn't sleep that night, I just kept thinking about how I… did what I did. And, truthfully, I didn't regret what I did. I don't know what was happening to me, but whatever it was, wasn't good!

I woke up early the next morning, with hardly any sleep. Of course Jake came over, he says he came to see if I wanted to see a movie. He and I both know he was just checking up on me.

"Uh, Jake, I don't know if I'm ready" After all, dad had only died last week.

"C'mon Lee, it'll be good for you" I guess it could be…

After a bit of persuading Jake and I headed of to the movies. I wasn't in the mood to see a chick flick with romance, so I suggested we see Blood Hands. It's a new movie… basically about blood!

Lining up to get our tickets all I could hear behind me was a couple telling eachother how much they love eachother. It was literally making me sick to my stomach.

"I love you" said the guy, and with such a cliché reply, the girl said,

"No, I love you" And this went on for sometime. When I actually caught a glance of the couple, my stomach dropped, it was Sam and Emily. I know I had seen them out before, but something bothered me about it this time, maybe it was because dad was gone, maybe not, but I couldn't stand it. As soon as Emily saw me, her face fell,

"Oh, Leah… I'm so sorry about you're dad" Yeah, right, like that bitch is sorry. But I wouldn't show her that it was bothering me.

"Yeah, thanks" I glanced up at Sam, he held my gaze for a long moment before I broke away. God, I still loved him, but he loved her, my cousin. After they left, I didn't want to be here any longer.

"Jake, I uh suddenly feel sick, can you take me home please" Of course I lied, but if I stayed any longer I think I would be sick.

He just sighed in response. "Okay Leah"

It was a silent drive home, after he dropped me off, I saw him getting out of his car.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm coming in" What?

"No, you're not!" I walked into my house and he followed. My god, he was annoying!

"Jake, please go, I'm fine" I said, trying to get him to leave, he scoffed,

"Yeah, that's what you said last time, I'm not leaving you alone Leah." Grr, he was so annoying, I really just wanted to be alone.

"Fine, whatever, I'm going for a shower, just… don't touch anything!" I said, leaving him in my room. As I got into the shower, it was nice having the warm water on me, it relaxed me, I'd been so stressed lately, and that's when I accidently did it. I cut my leg with the razor. It stung for a bit, but then I enjoyed it, it took away all of my worries, all of my pain, Sam, Emily… Dad! It just all went away. So I got the razor and sliced it across my wrist. Damn, that hurt like a bitch, but I couldn't stop. I had made two perfect cuts on my right wrists. I stayed in the shower to let the bleeding stop and rinse away. When I got out, I made sure to wear my long sleeve top, to cover the scar. When I got outside Jacob was there waiting for me.

"Okay, I actually didn't think you were going to stay" I eyed him, trying to read him.

"Well, obviously I am, look I picked a movie out downstairs and made some popcorn, so are you going to sit here and tell me how much you wish I wasn't here, or can we go watch the movie?" He had a point, there was no point trying to reason with him.

"Fine," I said as I led the way downstairs.

After about 20 minutes into the movie I had fallen asleep. I somehow got on the beach, and my dad was there… with me. We were… fighting? I started screaming at him, and then he started having a heart attack, oh-no, not again, please not again.

"Leah, Leah" I was getting shaken, huh.

"Leah, wake up honey" Jake was leaning over me,

"What Black?" Did, he really have to wake me up, although I'm kind of glad he did, I didn't want to finish that dream… no nightmare. It was definitely a nightmare. Jacob suddenly grabbed my wrist… uh-oh.

"Care to explain this?" He said, very angrily. I tried to take my hand away, but he just held on tighter.

"It's nothing, I just fell" He just laughed, although there was no humour in his voice.

"Yeah, you fell and you got two perfectly straight, fresh marks on your wrists, Lee, I'm not stupid and you're lying to me." God, why did he have to be so god damned annoying.

"No, I'm not lying, I'm telling you the truth, I fell in the shower before … on my razor and it… I got cut, and it hurt like a bitch, but I fell, that's all" I know it sounded stupid even coming from my own mouth.

"Leah," He sighed. "Leah, please tell me the truth" This time I screamed at him,

"I am telling you the truth!" I stood up and took my hand away from his strong grasp. He began to get angry too.

"Fine, you won't accept it, I'm telling Seth" Panic shot through me, no, no, no! I collapsed to the floor, and began to sob.

"No, Jacob, p-please don't tell h-him. P-please d-don't!" He came down and sat next to me and wrapped his arm around me and let me cry into his chest. After I cried, he looked at me – very serious.

"Leah we have to do something about this, you're trying to starve yourself, you purposely threw up and now… now…" He couldn't say it.

"I cut myself, okay, just say it, I cut myself and I liked it, whatever" I was surprised at how strong I just sounded, especially after just having a crying fit.

"Leah, it is not 'whatever' you are hurting and I need to help you, please let me help you" Tears began to form up in my eyes again.

"Jacob, I don't know what's happening to me, I don't know what to do."

He looked at me, and squeezed his eyes shut. "Leah, I don't like what I'm about to do, but I have to" He then held my face with his hands to make sure I was looking directly at him.

"Leah Clearwater, you will _not _harm yourself any longer" Oh crap, he used his alpha voice. I felt so betrayed. I began to cry, what was wrong with me?

"Why, Jake, why would you do that, I trusted you, and y-you," I couldn't finish my sentence, so I just run upstairs and slam my door. No doubt Jacob would end up sleeping on the couch downstairs anyways, god I was so angry at him, angry at myself. Who was I, who have I become? I was so tired; I just slumped onto my bed and fell asleep instantly. But before I did, I was thinking about how I needed to get out o f here, out of Forks, I hated it, I hated everyone, most of all Jacob, he could sure as hell tell me what to do here, but not if I ran away.

_*****dun dun dun, cliffhangerr! lol, i hope you guys liked it :/ please please review i want to know what you all think, and please let me know where you would like to see this story go, because personally I'm not sure myself lol, so I'm not sure how long it will take me to upload the next chapter, just whenever i get an idea, so if you have any please let me know and review, review, review! thank you to all my readers :) *****_


	7. Wrong turn

_*****hiiii, i updated this with another chapter! i hope you like it so please tell me of you do by reviewing! all rights go to SM! :) *****_

**Leah POV:**

I woke up early the next morning, to make sure I could get away. I packed my bag, with only the essentials because I didn't want to be lugging around a huge bag. So I packed my clothes, toothbrush, and all of my savings. I didn't have much, but I had _just _enough. I sneaked into mum's room while she was sleeping and took some cash from her wallet… just incase. Before I left I quickly scribbled a note to mum.

_Dear Mum,_

_I am so sorry to have to do this, I truly hope you will forgive me one day, I'm going away for a bit, I'm not sure how long for, or even where I'm going. But don't bother getting Charlie or anyone to come find me. I don't want to be found. Tell Seth I love him, and I'll see him soon, and tell Jacob… just tell him I'm sorry, I know he wanted to help, but I'm too broken. I'll call you when I'm ready mum, but until then, I love you, please don't forget that._

_Love Always,_

_Leah _

_I slow_ly tip-toed down the stairs and left the note on the kitchen counter, someone was bound to see it there, I took a glance over at our couch, Jake was still sleeping there from the night before, he looks so peaceful when he's sleeping. I really hope he forgives me. Because I didn't have a car, I just ran out the front door… and kept running until I ended up near the town, where most taxi services are. But I couldn't really afford a taxi, especially with what little money I had. So I put my hand up to try get attention of any car driving by. All cars just ignored me and kept driving, except one. It was a man, around in his twenties. He pulled over the side of the road and winded down his window.

"Are you okay Miss?" He seemed like a good enough guy to me.

"Um, kind of, not really, I'm trying to get away from home, and I don't have a car and I can't afford a taxi… where are you headed?" I asked him, there was no point telling him my life story if he wasn't even going in a direction where I wanted to go.

"I'm headed down to Seatle" He said, perfect.

"Oh, I'm sorry to be such a bother but do you mind if I come with you, I won't hassle you, I just need a ride" His face lit up,

"Sure thing sweetie" He opened the car door for me and I got in.

We had only been driving for about an hour when my phone started ringing. Mum was calling me… so far I had 3 missed calls. I wasn't going to answer, I couldn't. Then I got a text message from Jake…

"Leah, get your ass home NOW! Everyone is worried about you, and your mum is freaking out, we are ALL worried! The pack is going to spread out and find you! Just come home please!"

I told them not to worry! I think I'll reply, but only one text, just to tell them I'm fine and that's it.

"Jacob, I'm sorry for what I'm doing, but I have to I need space. Tell mum not to worry, I'm fine. Tell the pack to back off, I'm doing this because I want to, I've hitched a ride so I'll be fine! Just leave me alone!"

That was it, I sent it, no more messages, I won't keep in contact, this is supposed to be for me, so I can get space from everyone, not to be texting them every five minutes. Then my phone went off again, jeez.

"Leah, please come home, and what do you mean you 'hitched' a ride. Leah, that's too dangerous, just come home!"

It was Jake again, but this time I left it. He sent me a few more text's after that, trying to persuade me to come home or tell him where I'm going. I didn't respond to anything. The guy next to me… who was driving me to Seattle, (I actually hadn't leaned his name yet) leaned over and said.

"You must of left a few worried people at home if your phone keeps going off" I totally had forgotten about him, and that is pretty selfish considering he's the one driving me to where I want to go. After about twenty minutes I had told him everything, he was a stranger so there was no point trying to hide anything.

"Let me get this straight," He said, "So you're dad died like a week ago, you went a bit crazy didn't eat, and cut yourself, and now you're running away?" He asked me.

"Well, if you put it in a nutshell then yeah" I just shrugged, I know it sounded bad but I really didn't care. He just looked at me and said,

"Hey, look I'm not judging, what you do is up to you!" Finally, some reason!

After a few turns I realised we weren't headed to Seattle, oh shit-

"Um so where are we going again?" I asked, just playing dumb. He just shrugged,

"To Seattle, I'm taking a few shortcuts, don't worry sweetie" He smiled at me. Okay now I was officially freaked out. The way we were headed was definitely not to Seattle. I quickly got out my phone and texted Jake-

"Jake, shit I'm in trouble, meant to go Seattle, wrong turns, I don't know who this guy is!"

I quickly hit send and almost instantly get a reply from Jacob.

"Leah, where are you tell me now, try get out of the car!"

Damn it, I forgot to put my phone on silent. The guy leaned over and grabbed my phone.

"What the hell did you tell him?" Crap crap crap! I didn't know what to say, I hesitated,

"I… uh…I…" I was lost for words. He turned really angry.

"Oh shut it bitch, you're going to regret that" And then in that instant, everything went black.

_***** so thats it, i hope you liked this chapter! im still not sure where to head with this, if jake finds her in time or anything like that, but we will just see! :) please please review, it really makes my day when you do! thank you ! :) *****_


	8. Should of Phased!

_*****hiiiiiiiiiii, sorry i didnt upload this straight away, i was thinking where this could go... i hope you like it... please let me know! SM owns everthing :) *****_

**Jacob POV:**

God, Leah is just so stupid! Why would she run away like that, I told her I was here for her! Her mum is stressing out so much, so is Seth, and so am I! We are all sitting around Sue's kitchen bench. Charlie is here to, he says he can't officially get people out there looking for her because she doesn't want to be found, I but in,

"Bullshit! You know you can do something" My dad eyed me,

"Jacob" he warned,

"Look, I'm sorry, but with all do respect Charlie you've got to be able to do _something!_"

He just shook his head, "I'm sorry Jake, I can't, I mean that's not saying I won't help _you _all look, cos' I sure as hell will" That made me feel at ease, only the slightest bit.

"Sue, have you called her?" I asked, she just nodded sadly,

"Yes, I have, a couple of times, she won't pick up" That's it, I'm texting her, I get out my phone and begin to type-

Leah, get your ass home NOW! Everyone is worried about you, and your mum is freaking out, we are ALL worried! The pack is going to spread out and find you! Just come home please!

I hope that's convincing enough. I get a reply almost instantly, thank god she's safe then! She replied-

Jacob, I'm sorry for what I'm doing, but I have to I need space. Tell mum not to worry, I'm fine. Tell the pack to back off, I'm doing this because I want to, I've hitched a ride so I'll be fine! Just leave me alone!

She WHAT! When I see her, she is really going to get it. How can she be so stupid, who knows who the hell she could be driving with, none of us will know! I reply-

Leah, please come home, and what do you mean you 'hitched' a ride. Leah, that's too dangerous, just come home!

Okay now comes the hard part, telling everyone else. They are all still discussing tactics to try and find her, I speak up.

"Guys," No one hears me, so I speak louder

"Everyone, listen up!" They all turn their heads to face me. Okay, good so I have their attention, now how do I say this, I look apologetically to Sue,

"I texted Leah telling her we are all worried about her and to come home, she replied" - I got cut off by Sue, she looked so happy, oh god, I was going to disappoint her.

"Oh, is my baby coming home?" Her eyes were full of hope. I sadly nodded, and added-

"No, she uh, she said she's getting a ride with someone… someone she doesn't know, I'm really worried, I told her it was dangerous but she isn't replying. Everyone went silent. This time Seth spoke up-

"Well, you know it might be okay, maybe it's even someone we know, she'll be fine, right, she'll be fine?" He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than the others. We spent the next hour trying to figure out a way to find Leah, none of us cared if she didn't want to be found, her safety was involved now and none of us were going to risk that, that was when it happened. Leah texted me, at first I was glad, thank god! Then I read it, and slowly my heart starts to beat faster. If _anyone _so much as hurts Leah, they will not know what hit them. I swear to-

"Jake?" Billy interrupted my thoughts, "Jake you okay? Calm down please you're shaking" I didn't even realise I was shaking.

"Dad, I got another text from Leah- she's in danger, look it says 'Jake, shit I'm in trouble, meant to go Seattle, wrong turns, I don't know who this guy is'

Everyone suddenly went silent. I calmed myself down phasing now will definitely not help anything. So I took charge, I didn't care that I wasn't in charge of Sam.

I looked straight at Sam, "Sam, get you're pack and follow Leah's sent, she was meant to be going to Seattle, so try go near there." Then I turned to Seth,

"Seth, you and I will go through the forests to try find any abandoned houses or factories or anything, if anyone finds anything, _let me know!_" Everyone nodded and was out in a flash.

**Leah POV:**

I kept slipping in and out of consciousness. I'm not sure how long I was out for, but I finally woke up, I didn't know where I was, a basement? An empty building? I had no idea. It was then that I realised I was strapped down to a chair, with my hands tied behind m back and my legs together. I didn't want to come across weak in this situation, so I began to scream.

"Whoever you are, better fucking let me go _now!" _I hope they didn't hear the fear in my voice. Just then the man walked out, the man who said he was going to take me to Seattle. He walked towards me,

"Hey there sweetie, have a good nap?" I spat at him,

"Fuck you" His eyes suddenly turned dark, he seemed angry.

"You really shouldn't of said that" He said as he started taking his clothes off, I really didn't like where this was going. He leaned down and started unbuttoning my top.

"NO!" I said in a firm voice, he just smiled at me, "NO!" I screamed even harder this time. This could not be happening to me! He began to unbutton my top. No, no, no. I was a fucking wolf. Phase Leah, phase! Damn it, it wasn't working, I hadn't phased in so long. He leaned down slowly and… no, no, no!

I can't believe I didn't phase, I _should _have phased. Why couldn't I phase. I hate myself for this, I deserved this. It's my punishment for everything I've done, for dad. This is what I get. Oh no, he's coming back… please please not again. He is holding a needle. Why is he holding a needle, he's getting closer now. He jabs the needle in my right arm, I scream loud. It's hurting me, but then suddenly everything starts to go very hazy. I try to speak,

"W- What, d-d- id" I can't talk, what did he do to me! He puts his fingers over my lips,

"Shh, it will be easier this way, better for you, see I'm helping you, now shut up!" What, I'm so confused, he started to get on top of me. I blacked out then, I'm not sure how long I had blacked out this time but when I kept slipping in and out of consciousness he was still on top of me, why, _why _was this happening. I must've blacked out again because then I heard…

"Leah, Leah, honey, please please wake up" My eyes fluttered open, and I saw Jake standing over me.

_*****i hope you all liked this chapter, hopefully ill update soon, what do u think so far? please review, thank you! :) *****_


	9. AN

_**Hiii to all my readers! i am so so so soorrry that i have not updated, but honestly i don't know where to take this story, so i apologise... trust me im trying to think! so once ive got something or thought of an idea or anywhere to take this, ill write and update! sorry...**_

**_but review me please if anyone has ANY ideas :) any help will be GREATLY appreciated!_**

**_Thank you to all my beautiful readers :) and again i'm sorry, but i'm getting there... xxxx_**


	10. VERY IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

hello readers i feel that i owe you more, but i am just so so so so sorry! i just do not have the inspiration to finish this story, but because every story needs an ending...

i will give **ONE** reader permission to finish this story or continue it, the first person to ask me about it gets it then i will post another note on this chapter telling you all who gets it. This way hopefully the story will finish and who knows maybe Leah and Jake will get a happy ending?

but, who ever does end this story, i would really appreciate it if you acknowledged me as the writer who wrote the first 8 chapters...

anyway so yeah, i will let you all know who gets to finish this story so

Again really sorry! Thank you to everyone who read! :)


	11. and the winner is

hiiii! okay so the lucky...

**susan salvatore**

gets to finish this story! so go check out her page and she will hopefully update soon! :)

thank you for all your support! :)


	12. SORRY, READ PLEASE!

hiiii guys ok...

so this story is up for adoption once again, so sorry about all of this!

anyways first in best dressed, let me no if u wanna continue it kay! :)


	13. NEW WINNER IS

hello...

story officially adopted by...

**LeahClearwater1997**

go to her to read on...

:)


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